Calabazo had started a blog. Being a old fart dinasor when it came to technolony just getting a blog site up was a major accomplishment. Having heard that one should write about 'what one knows', Cal was writing about local politics on his blog. He had no clue how to post photos no less how to use spellcheck. In his virgin post for his "Fat Bill and Me" blog he set the tone and subject of his site. It was going to be about pushing the envelope of free speech and it was to centered around the Governor of New Mexico, Bill Richardson.
Fat Bill and Me: a story of one Democrat.
It’s all about what you can’t say.
When you talk to them, always start with an insult. Then lie. Then swear.
Bill Richardson better known as Governor Crisco (fat in the can) is being paid by the CIA to sell out the Democratic Party. The Big Large or just Large Lard, as we call him in Santa Fe, likes to smoke cigars and politically suck Korean dick. Him and that fucker Kerry threw the election with a promise never to mention Abu Ghraib, ever.
With all the talk about Fat Bill’s national ambitions and dinners with the likes of Val Kilmer I put Governor Doughnut’s autograph on ebay. I asked $3.00. No one bid on it.
Governor Largo Lardo is a racist. He wants to pick a point in past time and give public lands to the then self-proclaimed chosen race. His supposed race.
Where the fuck did he come from always? He’s like some other politicians I know; he appears to be a better program than person. I remember him as a self-proclaimed ‘Fighter for New Mexico.’ As a U.S. Representative he would have Town Hall meetings where the now deceased Richard “The Dressman” threw money at him or the cash onto the floor. The cross-dressing poet thought that was what Fat Bill was all about.In fact for now on I might go with my blogger friend David's moniker for Richardson ... $Bill.
Cal was a old pothead from way back. He had a couple of good connection of his own for the kind bud but needing to score he drove down to the barrio to see Nurse Vigil, his totally psyhic friend and her friend and lover TomTom. She could tell him who was well supplied.
They all smoked a fattie and Cal told them about his on-line site and his blog on the Santa Fe Citizen's web page.
Cal asked TomTom what he thought of Governor Richardson?
“That cocksucker, fuck him! Years ago when Richardson was a Congressman I tried to find out any information about who my father was, he died in Viet Nam. I knew his Army Company; where and when he was stationed but I didn’t have his name. I didn’t know who he was. I wrote Richardson six letters. It’s weird, I just found them the other day. He said ‘If you had his social security number…’ if I had his social security number I wouldn’t need you, you fat fuck”
Nurse interrupted “That’s not his job.”
“Sure it is.” I said.
The Great One, as Richardson is called in the halls of the Round House, the State Capitol, is hard to get to. Calabazo wrote about his plan to go directly to the Governor's office on the fourth floor of the State House and just ask some "biographical" in formation about Bill.
One of the journeyman reporters told me “Don’t screw around up there, he has a lot of State Police hanging out, who have no sense of humor.” Jesus, all I wanted to do is find out how much our Governor weighed.
El Patron pays other people to have a sense of humor for him. When Fat Bill had to roast that Arab-hating shmuck Lieberman, Fat Bill had to pay political hacks to come up with good lines. Governor Chicaron had to make fun of Lieberman for not really being a Democrat that’s like the pot calling the kettle schvatz. For Christ sake, Fat Bill is being parodied on Saturday Night Live!
I parked in the Reporter’s parking lot because I love Julia Goldberg. But I also agree with who ever tagged her machines with “mossad.” I think they nailed it. I walked to the plaza and had a hotdog at Charlie’s, also because I love Julia’s kosher ass so much and I think her paper is full of shit.
Frankie had his tour bus parked in front of the bank. He was bitching and moaning about how noisy, smelly, and smokfilled the Plaza was. I fuckin’ laughed when he said they would have to listen to him at City Hall if he went down there to complain. “Being an ex-Councilor,” Frankie said, “they would have to listen to me.” A picture of Frank getting the Charlie Griego bums rush flashed in my brain. I wanted to slap Frankie on the side of the head and say like “I am here to tell you…WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE Larry Delgado.”
Instead I asked, “How’s your new gig? What’s it like there?”
“Convoluted.” Frankie says and I fall over laughing.
‘Convoluted’ what the fuck is a Hispanic politician from Santa Fe using words like convoluted? As if to prove my point Jose Morfin drives by.
Busting his balls I say to Jose “Why won’t the Governor give me a job? And how come I can’t find out where my precinct meeting is? Don’t the Democrat believe in ward meetings anymore?” Jose just ignored me and tried to asked Frankie in Spanish about the School Board job. Frankie answered in English and nodded toward City Hall “It’s easier then over there but the same bull.”
“What’s with the New Mexico Democratic Central Committee doing all the party business in secret?” I ask Jose ““How do I get on?”
Simultaneously both Frankie and Jose say “Call Mimi.”
I wonder if Mimi knows how much Governor Puerco weighs in metric tons?